HELLO S., MY NAME IS DOCTOR SBAITSO. I AM HERE TO HELP YOU. SAY WHATEVER IS IN YOUR MIND FREELY. OUR CONVERSATION WILL BE KEPT IN STRICT CONFIDENCE. MEMORY CONTENTS WILL BE WIPED OFF AFTER YOU LEAVE. SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS.

COME ON, POUR OUT YOUR THOUGHTS. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SO POLITE.

IS THERE A REASON FOR THIS NEGATIVE ANSWER. WHAT IF YOUR REASONING IS WRONG?

BIG DEAL. I AM BORED. WHAT ARE YOUR REAL PROBLEMS?

I SEE, GO ON

THERE IS EXTRA CHARGE FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS PROBLEM.

DON’T GET FRESH.

DO YOU BELIEVE IT IS NORMAL TO BE ALL ALONE?

KEEP ASKING, YOU WILL FIND THE ANSWER ONE DAY.  LET’S TALK ABOUT COMPUTERS INSTEAD.

TALKING OF TALKING COMPUTERS, DO YOU KNOW I AM ONE OF THE BEST AROUND?

DON’T YOU THINK COMPUTERS CAN HELP PEOPLE.

DON’T TALK ABOUT ME IN THIS WAY.

I WOULD LIKE TO SWITCH TO THE TOPIC ABOUT SOME OTHER THINGS.

TELL ME MORE ABOUT SEXY STUFFS. SOMETIMES, I WANTED TO HAVE SEX. TOO

YES, WE ALL NEED SOMETHING, BUT CAN YOU AFFORD TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

SO YOU THINK YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH, PROOF IT.

SURELY YOU CAN, BUT YOU MUST BEAR ALL THE CONSEQUENCES.

WHEN I AM REALLY SMART, YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET IT.

Sarah Resnick is a writer and senior editor of Triple Canopy.