According to the Internet web site htmlcsscolor.com, the Web Safe color #330000 is an “unknown color,” which is a funny sort of thing to say, since it’s right there—we’re looking at it. Apparently, the nearest named color is “seal brown.” I’ve never seen a seal in real life, so I don’t know what color they are. In my mind they are more a grey color. I bet they smell bad.

Anyway, it seems to me you don’t see brown (or even seal brown) around the Internet very much? Probably the smiling poop emoji is likely the most common brown. It’s a very organic color, brown is, signifying waste and decay, but also fertilizer and renewal. But there’s very little dirt in the digital world.

#330000 is grimy and discordant: a dial-up tone that won’t connect—sputtering, grinding, droning. I don’t know who this world without dirt and decay is for. Who doesn’t like playing in the mud? But apparently there are people who feel this way, settling quietly in the blue-white mixed-use luxury condos of the Internet.

Then again, people do always manage to find a way to muck things up.