Hooked on fucking with people, of course. I mean, what else is there to do, when you search AOL’s profiles by your town and the same seventeen results keep appearing? This newfound anonymity was thrilling and perverse; we no longer had to run around outside to TP someone’s house, we could simply send them a confusing and rude instant message from the comfort of our bedrooms.

It wasn’t long until I changed my profile to read as though I was not myself but in fact Jonathan Taylor Thomas, who at that point was riding high on his Home Improvement fame. Filled in a few fake hobbies, a fake location, and a fake birthday and boom, people were suddenly writing me out of the blue, wondering if it was really me (him)! Some believed instantly; others wanted me to prove my identity by verifying certain bits of personal information, interrogations of which I had varying success. Those conversations were often the most entertaining, anyway. If anything was learned, it was that through this new digital age, I could be whoever I wanted to be at any given moment, and it was a thrilling realization.